Captain's Log 5

Captain's Log 5

            Over the course of the past week not too many exciting things have happened in the classroom. I’m at the middle part of the quarter and my overall feelings are that I have far too much on my plate. If it wasn’t for the years I’ve spent procrastinating assignments from when I was a freshman in high school to present day, even as I write this, I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress and demand. I’m being pulled in different directions: college studies, middle school hours, my part-time job, running, family, friends and the extra stuff including graduation applications which have yet to be found. If my parents question my frequent trips to coffee shops I might just send them my course load in the mail as a response. Now days I don’t drink shots unless they’re espresso shots. I’m also confident I haven’t slept more than five hours since spring break- I miss those days. I also haven’t made a home cooked meal in weeks- unless a sandwich counts, in which case I cooked on Monday. I don’t even know if it’s about balancing everything anymore. I feel like I’m just struggling to stay on top of the water and whenever I make a gain somebody tosses me a brick: “don’t forget this!”

            In the classroom I’m trying to cope with the stress I have overall in my life by ignoring it. Ignorance is bliss, and I don’t want the stress to taint my enjoyment of time spent in the middle school. I’m trying hard to drop everything at the door and keep things separate. So far so good! I was having difficulty this morning with a bad start of spilling coffee and slow drivers that nearly made me late (thankfully I didn’t get a speeding ticked). I lucked out and my coordinating teacher gave me an organization task in which I got to just work on mindless items- exactly what I needed. I think the more this quarter goes on, the more I realize how important it is to focus on the task at hand. I can’t do everything, and some things have to just have to be let go. I know my coordinating teacher has said that a million times, but only now, when I am feeling spread thinly across my responsibilities, do I realize how important that advice is.

            In my first few years of teaching, especially in my student teaching quarter, I will be working to organize my own life in a manner that things stay separate. I don’t want stress or issues from other halves of my life to affect the other. My home life shouldn’t affect a child’s performance in school; they already have their home lives doing that for them. For myself, I don’t want school to follow me home or home to follow me to school. That will be the balance I’ll focus on most so I don’t end up feeling like I’m drowning, with too much to handle. 

This is Captain Danielle Raschko, signing off.